Toxic selling

I’m deeeeeep in a rabbit hole here (help).

In an effort to understand the current state of sales, I’m trying to start right back at the most manipulative, toxic moves that have been taught to sales folks and business owners alike, and pick them apart.

I barely knew where to start – but last night with incognito mode on, I started searching things like “learn aggressive sales tactics tonight” and “Always Be Closing method”. Some names I’ve faintly heard of popped up, so I started watching. Pretty sure it was less than a minute before my first “oh f*ck off”. I almost threw up 11 times.

Giddyup!

One guy I watched had so many lines that fuelled my rage, I wrote every one down. He was teaching a method he called “The Assumptive Close” (whether it was his own method or someone else’s, who cares).

The idea being that if he assumes he’s going to close the deal before he actually does, his language changes to someone who is talking to a client instead of a prospect – which is not disrespectful to your PROSPECT at all 🙄

Let’s clear up some definitions for our little mate:

• Prospect: Potential customer; Qualified lead; Not a client yet; May never be.
• Client: Client.

Here are some banger lines from the guy now known as Douchebag #1:

In case it’s not clear, these are lines I want you to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever use in a sales call.

• “When you sign, this is what the process will be.” (when, not if).
• “How many licenses will you need?” (he highlighted emphasis on “how many” and “need” instead of want).
• “How would you like to pay, Visa or Mastercard?” (I’ve had this one used on me – they use it before you’ve actually agreed to buy anything).
• “What day would you like us to begin implementation? Let’s meet Tuesday to review pricing.” (Pushing for a start date before discussing price!?).
• He even admitted to using it after a date: “So hey, when would you like to meet again, Tuesday or Wednesday?” 🤮 Yo she picked a day bro – she’ll definitely be there.

Some of these might seem pretty harmless on the surface… quick reminder, this is not a client yet. It’s a person who clicked a link to “hop on a sales call to see if we’re a fit”. You’ve been that person – these questions aren’t checking for fit, they’re badgering. He’s skipping steps.

Plus, according to my naive untrained brain, they hijack the decision away from the prospect – this guy is attempting to make the decision for them, at a vulnerable point where they’re already taking in a lot of information and probably nudging overwhelm.

Bad right, but why?

Trust: It takes a long time to gain and a split second to lose. When this prospect/client is no longer on the call where they were badgered relentlessly and finally has a minute to think, are they going to go “Man that guy was helpful!” or are they more likely to go “WTF just happened?”.

Resentment: Just what you need – you finally managed to get someone on the phone, trusted DB#1’s skuzzy tactics and coaxed them to buy, and the second they’re off the phone they think “Oh man, I think that was a bad idea.”

Ownership: With practice and shady tactics, I can probably convince you to buy coaching from me. What I can’t do is make you want to be coached by me. Nope – to do that, you’ll to come to a point in your day/month/life where you decide “I’m ready to commit to a thing” – there’s a whole mindset that goes with it that I don’t fully understand yet. But if you’re not at that point, and I coax you into thinking you need me, you walk away with zero ownership of that decision. How likely are you to show up to something you’re not committed to?

Currently setting up a VPN, building a burner profile, and going deep to expand my brocabulary. Will keep sharing what I find, along with counterpunches.

If I emerge with a Lamborghini in my profile pic… please know I tried.