Listen to understand

There’s a good chance you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of “autobiographical listening”.

“Autobiographical listening is when we listen with a view to respond instead of actively listening to the person we are interacting with. When we do this, we tend to think of our own experiences and filter what others say through our own stories.” (From this article on HuffPost)

The 1-upper who’s story is always funnier, more outrageous, more embarrassing, or the same thing happened to them but it was even worse…

It’s interesting to hear how common this is… even in professions like psychology, where a big part of the role is to listen, this gets admitted to a lot.

I’m currently running some feedback sessions (new trainings coming shortly!) and I’m hyper-aware of this – how easy it would be to talk over someone, or how often I feel words sitting on the tip of my tongue, meaning I’m not fully taking in what they’re saying.

The antidote? Empathic listening.

Or listening to understand, not to reply.